I just keep poking and prodding and asking questions. It’s less about my opinion or my expertise, it’s more just about, I want to learn how it works and that’s when I’m curious enough or fully engaged. Thankfully, I kept fairly wide ranging interests, so I want to just know how things work and that’s usually when I’m at my best, I think as a listener is I’m not even real… I don’t even really have anything to contribute. I find that if I think about the inverse, when am I a good listener? It’s almost always when I’m really curious or excited about the topic. So my problem I guess is, butting in that’s probably my biggest listening foul pole. But I do have a problem where I’m hearing what you’re saying, but I really have a contribution that I want to make. Right? I don’t think that I have that problem as much. Sometimes people will say that when someone’s listening they’re not really listening, they’re just thinking about what they want to say next.
What do you struggle with when it comes to your listening? It feels like, okay, you already know what you want to do and you don’t even really care what I have to say about it.
#ATOMIC HABITS BOOK LISTEN HOW TO#
But just like if I’m going to bring it in and pay you to do this, I want to feel like you at least know what I want done.Ī really good example of the four villains of listening, that’s the shrewd listener and they already know how to solve your problem before you get the words out of your mouth.
So yeah, that’s one where I feel it’s mostly about me being heard and less, less even about what you’ll do and whether you’ll change because of it. I’m like, okay, I know you do, but can I just at least, even if it’s not going to change what you do, can you just listen to what I want it to look like afterward even if you’ll do the same thing. I’m always annoyed when I go to the tailor and I take a piece of clothing to them and there’s like, okay, I know how to fix this. But I do have an opinion on what I want it to look like when I’m wearing it. I don’t know how to fix the clothes and the way they need to be fixed that’s why I’m coming to you. The first place I thought of it was with the tailor. I’m curious what frustrates you when other people don’t listen to you. Podcast Episode 067: Making a habit of Deep Listening with James Clear
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